By: Ja'Nylah Johnson
"I can't wait to grow up!"
"I can't wait to turn 21!"
"Can I just go to college already?!" (Inserts eye roll emoji)
I know...I said it too. Adulting was not something I expected to slap me in the face...well probably not as hard as it did. This is challenging! You feel like you know what you're doing, then completely find out you did not know anything at all. You start kickin' it with this new friend group and believe that these are the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE in the world, then never speak to them again. I know, I know, trust me.. I understand. Or you find out you only have $20 left to last you for two whole weeks. It's not giving, I know, but let’s get into it.
Okay, I’m not going to go into this being all negative about friendships, but...not
everybody is your friend and you better not go into this thinking like that either. Take
some time to yourself to identify what a friend is to you. Is a friend someone who is going
to take 2-3 weeks to get back to you after expressing you need support? Is a friend
someone that's helping you use up your money, but not advising you on how to get
some? It’s okay to converse, turn up and do the goofiest of shit with your friends, but
you need to make sure there's a couple solid ones in the bunch. If not, you are bound to
fall each time. Bad company corrupts good morals.
On a different note, the ones you do decide to keep close, show out with them. Y'all
better make memories like no other and value the experience that comes with their
time in your life. Hold on tight and stay present! Each person comes into your life for a
reason, whether you realize it now or later.
If they didn’t tell you, college season is broke boy season. You have a whole lot to take
care of, but rule #1 to adulting is sacrifice. No my love, you are not going to be able to
go get your lashes, nails done, take a trip, buy a car, pay rent and produce a new
wardrobe within the span of five days. However, the goals are not unobtainable, they
just require time and patience. When taking financial stability into consideration, one
must think of those who are not financially stable and their financial priorities. Number
one is your bills. Pay your bills love. Your next priority is what you need: what is a must
and something you can not live without (and I'm not talking about those shoes that are
supposed to come out next week...More like detergent, toothpaste...yah know). From
there save at least 10%, if not 10% .. put $1-$5 under a pillow (it adds up).
Don’t you just love them? When it comes to family and growing up, it's honestly a
metamorphosis. Growing out of who they shaped you to be, and growing into who you
choose to be. There may not always be agreements, but it's on you to stand your
ground in a respectful manner or remain stagnant in someone you doesn't want to be.
Just like you have to define what a friend is to you, you must do the same with family.
We live in this world that approves disrespect and abuse because of a title. Yet, we
don’t discuss why being family gives you a free pass for doing something you literally
aren't supposed to do as family.
They say your friends are your chosen family, so that is what makes them so special. At
this time, your closest friends better be your family and if they don't feel like it, you may
need an evaluation.
Find a balance between who you want in your life and who deserves to be there.
Once you do some digging, you might realize family isn’t always family.
I honestly chose this point because family is taken for granted when we are younger,
but as we get older, we crave their existence. Which brings to the point that who you
have around you must cherish because that's who your most memories are with. Family
shouldn’t be valued based off of a title, but because they played their position
associated with the title.
Adulting is ghetto, but you will get through it. I have faith in you!
Your Big Sister Ja’Nylah